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[lightbearinglord]

With Claudius married and Aornis at last a permanent memory, the days seem to open up in front of Lan Wangji, like rounding a bend and finding a mountain path opening finally onto a vast and lush valley. He has never struggled to fill his time; there are always topics to pursue in the library, dishes to cook for his husband and for the handful of people he has taken to feeding with regularity, corrections to issue unto Galahad, who listens with the same earnest solemnity as ever. There is a sudden sense of freedom to it all, though, with the end of fear. He told Tally that he had set aside the pursuit of escape in favor of the pursuit of Aornis, and he believed that to be true, but he has yet to pick it up again in her wake. Every day, he yearns for the Cloud Recesses. He misses the quiet, the cleansing mist, and the view of Gusu from atop its walls. He misses the sight of the junior disciples, his brother, anyone but himself sporting the forehead ribbon. He misses Sizhui with the constancy of the waves that now push and pull over and over at the shore of their newfound beach. And yet he is not trying to find his way home.

In the absence of Sizhui, in the troubling void of purpose where once he would have been certain he would never give up the hope of return, he thinks often of Magnus. Their conversation in the kitchen seemed to release something between them, something he had not known to monitor until it was already coming loose. Magnus loves him, and Magnus kept something from him for months, and Lan Wangji is not angry, but he has continued to turn it over and over in his mind, a stone growing smoother and smoother in the relentless current. Magnus trusted someone else with his training. Lan Wangji would be lying to himself if he said he felt no envy at all.

Long familiarity with this place and its people, and his habit of assessing the mansion from overhead, have given Lan Wangji a good idea of Lancelot's routine. Typically, he is at the training yard only to work with Galahad. Today, he returns later on, at a time when he calculates that Lancelot's presence is likely. Bichen is at his side. It always is, naturally, but perhaps if nothing else, the two of them can cross blades. He has wanted to do so again ever since that first and only sparring session between the two of them, before he knew anything about Lancelot at all beyond his skill with a sword.

Comments

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot sighs, nodding, "I did not understand, until he explained, that his 'training' was not training at all." He scowls a little. "He had not been properly instructed. Only--"

[lightbearinglord]

"Only asked to die again and again," Lan Wangji finishes for him, an abrupt wash of ice-cold anger to the words.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Aye," ruefully, and not without an edge (if a careful one) to his own tone. "I cannot understand the purpose of it, even as training for warfare."

[lightbearinglord]

"It is training for the end of the world." Lan Wangji hates it, viscerally and overpoweringly. His hands are tight around each other. "Even outside of Valhalla, he had no assistance. His father is a god, and he did little to intervene when Magnus was in danger."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I understand -- well, I know of the 'end of the world' aspect, but still-- it is unconscionable to teach someone such skills without prioritizing their survival. And... to ask young men, just past childhood, to practice dying--" Lancelot shakes his head, "The less I speak of it, the better, I think. I would not wish to fight in some way that did not also ask me to value life."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji looks over at Lancelot, almost abrupt with it, startled and gratified with a relief he did not prepare to feel, although his face stays steely and calm. He keeps his anger about how Magnus has been treated tucked carefully away, the strings to its mouth pulled tight, although he never forgets its presence. "Mn," he agrees, grim. "War often forgets that as it wears on, but it should not. Valhalla never recalled it in the first place."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"It is senseless," he says, firmly, "and no doubt it does its own kind of harm."

Lancelot pauses, as if determining whether to ask the question that's looming before him, but then decides he must. "I have not offended, in taking him on, I hope?"

[lightbearinglord]

Despite the shallow nature of their acquaintance, Lan Wangji wants to be honest with Lancelot today. If only because they are discussing something, and someone, so dear to him. "No," he says, with care, after a moment. "I wish he had not kept it from me. But that was not your responsibility."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He takes a few moments to gather his thoughts before he says, "No, I don't suppose that it was. I did not much like it, but I wanted Magnus to know me to be trustworthy. If I had thought it would cause him harm, I would not have agreed to act in secret. As it was, I gave him my word and held to that, though I let him know I would not keep it from Susan."

[lightbearinglord]

In truth, Lan Wangji suspects he may have been the person most harmed by Magnus' choice to keep it a secret. Not irrevocably, or insurmountably, but it did hurt him, and it still aches lightly like a fresh bruise when he thinks of it. It seems absurd, for something so mundane to trouble him. But it will pass. "Mn. I keep nothing from my cultivation partner."

[lanselos_du_lac]

With polite interest, Lancelot clarifies, "Your husband, yes?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Yes. Wei Ying." Almost instantly, he adds, "Wei Wuxian is his courtesy name."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I have seen him with you, at some of the gatherings," he says, smiling a little. "You are well-suited to one another."

[lightbearinglord]

If there is anything that could make Lan Wangji smile during a conversation such as this, it is a compliment to his marriage, and so he does smile, a short-lived glimmer of fondness across his stern face. "Mn." Promptly, he is back to the topic at hand: "Magnus has asked me to attend your training with him."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Has he?" He seems only a little surprised. "You are, of course, welcome whenever you like."

[lightbearinglord]

He nods, not surprised but faintly relieved. "I would be interested to observe. You and I do not know the same sword styles."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"That is true," he acknowledges. "Magnus also asked to learn a style that I know, but that is not typically my preference, so it has been an interesting exercise."

[lightbearinglord]

This information piques his interest slightly. Magnus provided little information about the specifics of his training, and Lan Wangji was not in the mood to push. "Can you describe it?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"He wished to learn to fight with sword and shield, which is something I am well familiar with," Lancelot explains. "However, his shield is round and his blade shorter. I prefer to fight with a longsword and without my shield, to make it easier to shift stances. In the end, I worked with both to give Magnus some chance to work against different styles."

[lightbearinglord]

"I also fight without a shield," Lan Wangji says, though Lancelot may already know that following their single sparring session. "Is Magnus not using Jack?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"No. He had a practice sword, at first, and then we found him a more solid weapon in the armory."

[lightbearinglord]

A tiny pause, but he has to admit, "I imagine Jack cannot be trusted with secrets." There is still something that stings about this, something foolish and childish, but time will ease it. It isn't that he needs knowledge of every part of Magnus' life. It's that it is so obvious that he would have wanted to know these details, and that Magnus would have been sharing them eagerly if not for the barrier Lan Wangji had not known he constructed.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Perhaps not," Lancelot allows. He regards Lan Wangji for a moment before he says, "However, I also think Jack would not be helpful. It seems Jack did much of Magnus' original training, and that did not include much education as to forms or any real understanding of movement, efficiency, or how to read one's opponent."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji's expression hardens a little, a subtle change that would be easy to miss. "I see." He has never known what to make of Jack, beyond his irritation at the sword's ongoing attempted harassment of Bichen, but this does nothing complimentary for his assessment. "Then it is for the best."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He nods, "I think so. Magnus has much natural aptitude, and enhanced strength and speed, but it is better in my view to understand just what one is doing and why. I think, too, he is learning to enjoy himself."