lightbearinglord: (gazing)
Lan Wangji (蓝忘机) ([personal profile] lightbearinglord) wrote2024-09-29 03:32 am
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[ closed post: spring breeze nurturing rain ]

With Claudius married and Aornis at last a permanent memory, the days seem to open up in front of Lan Wangji, like rounding a bend and finding a mountain path opening finally onto a vast and lush valley. He has never struggled to fill his time; there are always topics to pursue in the library, dishes to cook for his husband and for the handful of people he has taken to feeding with regularity, corrections to issue unto Galahad, who listens with the same earnest solemnity as ever. There is a sudden sense of freedom to it all, though, with the end of fear. He told Tally that he had set aside the pursuit of escape in favor of the pursuit of Aornis, and he believed that to be true, but he has yet to pick it up again in her wake. Every day, he yearns for the Cloud Recesses. He misses the quiet, the cleansing mist, and the view of Gusu from atop its walls. He misses the sight of the junior disciples, his brother, anyone but himself sporting the forehead ribbon. He misses Sizhui with the constancy of the waves that now push and pull over and over at the shore of their newfound beach. And yet he is not trying to find his way home.

In the absence of Sizhui, in the troubling void of purpose where once he would have been certain he would never give up the hope of return, he thinks often of Magnus. Their conversation in the kitchen seemed to release something between them, something he had not known to monitor until it was already coming loose. Magnus loves him, and Magnus kept something from him for months, and Lan Wangji is not angry, but he has continued to turn it over and over in his mind, a stone growing smoother and smoother in the relentless current. Magnus trusted someone else with his training. Lan Wangji would be lying to himself if he said he felt no envy at all.

Long familiarity with this place and its people, and his habit of assessing the mansion from overhead, have given Lan Wangji a good idea of Lancelot's routine. Typically, he is at the training yard only to work with Galahad. Today, he returns later on, at a time when he calculates that Lancelot's presence is likely. Bichen is at his side. It always is, naturally, but perhaps if nothing else, the two of them can cross blades. He has wanted to do so again ever since that first and only sparring session between the two of them, before he knew anything about Lancelot at all beyond his skill with a sword.
lanselos_du_lac: (Shield)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 05:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Lancelot is, of course, where Lan Wangji expects him to be. He is in the last portion of his drills, sweating a little in the early summer sun. He definitely notices Lan Wangji's approach -- he glances over briefly -- but he doesn't pause right away. He only has a few more forms to move through, and a part of him assumes that Lan Wangji's discipline works similarly to his own. There is no harm in finishing before greeting him.
lanselos_du_lac: (easy)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
It's perhaps five or ten more minutes before Lancelot concludes his practice, lowering his sword and taking a long breath before sheathing it. That done, he turns and smiles, giving Lan Wangji a bow. "Good day, sir."
lanselos_du_lac: (sharp dressed)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
"Ah-- yes. Thank you," with a deep nod of his head. "Hanguang-jun. You are well, I hope?"
lanselos_du_lac: (direct)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Lancelot wipes his forehead with his sleeve, and says, "Of course. I have time."

He crosses the yard to sit on the bench, removing his swordbelt and setting it aside and then reaching for the bottle of water he has brought along. "Forgive me," he says in tones of apology that suggest that this is somehow rude, "it is warm today."
lanselos_du_lac: (seriously)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
"Ah," quietly. "I was wondering when he finally would. He had not told me he had done so, as yet."
lanselos_du_lac: (seriously)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
"That does not surprise me."
lanselos_du_lac: (questioning)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Lancelot takes a breath and sits back a bit, recalling. "He said he came to me because I did not like him," he pauses and looks over at Lan Wangji, "That was untrue. But he explained that he thought that meant that I would not be troubled by training him, but that I would take him seriously anyway. I asked why he would not instead ask someone whom he liked better, or was closer to, and he said that he felt anyone else would be... he said 'sad and quiet', I think, about it. He said this was because he had stopped fighting, after the onslaught of the undead."
lanselos_du_lac: (chapel)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
He nods a little, "I was not fully aware that he had lay down his sword, until he came to see me. It was an unsettling afternoon, though I admit I felt fairly well that day as it was good to be able to do something I understood. I was also wounded, that day, while I was with Magnus, and he healed me such that it was as if the wound had never happened."
lanselos_du_lac: (questioning)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Lancelot nods, frowning a little. He had not really understood Magnus' distinction between fighting and not fighting.

He says, "He mentioned to me that he did not wish to fight. But as I told him: training, sparring, these are not fighting. They may prepare one for fighting, but on their own they may be sport. They are practice, keeping up one's strength. I had not realized how different his experiences were from my own."
lanselos_du_lac: (seriously)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Lancelot sighs, nodding, "I did not understand, until he explained, that his 'training' was not training at all." He scowls a little. "He had not been properly instructed. Only--"
lanselos_du_lac: (Shield)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-09-29 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"Aye," ruefully, and not without an edge (if a careful one) to his own tone. "I cannot understand the purpose of it, even as training for warfare."
Edited 2024-09-29 22:41 (UTC)
lanselos_du_lac: (thoughtful)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-10-01 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
"I understand -- well, I know of the 'end of the world' aspect, but still-- it is unconscionable to teach someone such skills without prioritizing their survival. And... to ask young men, just past childhood, to practice dying--" Lancelot shakes his head, "The less I speak of it, the better, I think. I would not wish to fight in some way that did not also ask me to value life."
lanselos_du_lac: (questioning)

[personal profile] lanselos_du_lac 2024-10-02 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
"It is senseless," he says, firmly, "and no doubt it does its own kind of harm."

Lancelot pauses, as if determining whether to ask the question that's looming before him, but then decides he must. "I have not offended, in taking him on, I hope?"

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