"Yes," Lan Wangji says, at the conclusion of a long, careful moment during which he weighs his answer to this in the pursuit of telling Claudius the truth. "Nina has forgiven me, but I was certain she would not. And..." For once, he trails off, gathering a fresh set of thoughts like Claudius gathering new flowers for the welcome table. He carried Nina's choice for her. He carried the choice to kill Aornis on behalf of the mansion. He carried more sessions of Inquiry than he could remember, the last few of them longer and more grueling than any Inquiry he has ever before played. He carried the fear of his memory slipping away again. He carried his own unkind bitterness at the sureness of Shen Yuan's return, at how easily he could speak to those he loved, when Lan Wangji himself spent thirteen years in the silence of Wei Ying's death and expected to remain there for the rest of his life. He carried several sets of grief, knowing that it was not his grief, that listening and bearing it for others was the least he could do. He would change very little of what transpired, or at the least of the parts that were under any of his control, but--

He shuts his eyes and gives himself a slow, deliberate exhale. "Yes. I think that Sagramore was right. He came close to warning me that I would need to accept care before long."