[ open post: Lan Wangji and guests ]

[lightbearinglord]

In the wake of his disorienting and unpleasant stint in Gu Xiang's body, Lan Wangji has done his utmost to resume and enjoy all of his usual pursuits. He has, he believes, thoroughly made up for his lapse in his promise to Wei Ying. He has wielded kitchen knives, his ink brush, and Bichen with precision and enthusiasm. He has sunk into long, restorative shichen of meditation. He has, at Claudius' behest, thoroughly perused Emily Post's instructions regarding how to conduct oneself as the best man at a wedding.

There is the matter of his qin, too. The discovery of the spirit in Gideon's sword struck Lan Wangji with greater surprise than he might have expected. Such things were once commonplace for him; he hardly went two weeks, before he came to this place, without finding himself called to some night-hunt. He does not like to believe that he could become complacent, and he has always practiced diligently, but still.

The tableau is a familiar one: a certain parlor near the entryway of the mansion, one that often houses this particular cultivator along with his spiritual instrument. Wangji is balanced on a table at the center of the room, polished black wood gleaming and strings freshly tuned, and Lan Wangji sits cross-legged before it. He is not actually playing it at this precise moment, however, because he currently has guests. A small white rabbit sits next to the qin, munching his way through a piece of lettuce. An equally small brown rabbit is perched in the crook of Lan Wangji's elbow, eyeing his brother with some envy. Ostensibly, the rabbits are in trouble, because they have recently laid waste to Lan Wangji's copy of Emma. It is impossible to tell, because Lan Wangji is petting Danding's head with exactly as much solemn focus as always.

Comments

[lightbearinglord]

If Lan Wangji had a slightly worse grasp on self-control, he might glance down, at this juncture, at the qiankun pouch at his waist. The jurda parem is tucked inside of it, as it has been since the day Nina passed it to him. But he does not. He studies Nina's face. "You would not rather still look Fjerdan, would you?"

[ravkanwitch]

"I like what I look like," Nina says, easily. "I wouldn't change it for the world.¹"

¹Some may say she eventually does rediscover "her world" and discover that staying in her Fjerdan form is worth it, but that's an alternate universe now.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji gives her a little nod, then, of approval. He has some mixed feelings on this subject, but he keeps them to himself. Asking himself, or Wei Ying, whether he would rather Wei Ying have stayed in his original form is a passage to endless unanswerable questions. "Then that was not your first experience in a body not your own."

[ravkanwitch]

"No, though a cat is significantly different," she says, laughing a little. She considers telling him that Luo Binghe made her a delicious broth but does not, turning thoughtful instead. "At the end of the day, though, even though I prefer this body, I think if I found the right person or the right situation I'd be happy with a different one. Wylan-- the person that I transformed-- Jesper fell in love with him while he was transformed. He was eventually returned to what he looked like at the start, but it didn't really matter to either of them."

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn." Shen Yuan knows this already, so it is likely useless to keep it from anyone he actually likes. Lan Wangji exercises a little conscious effort of will to work past his instinct to hoard and defend every scrap of information about his husband. "Wei Ying is in his second body."

[ravkanwitch]

"I see," Nina says. It's mostly in earnest and only quite mildly in jest (with a dash of Nina picking up on the quirks of people she speaks with), but she does give him a familiar open look, as if to invite him to say more if he wishes.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji watches the rabbits, the way they snuffle at Nina's hands and then tuck their limbs beneath themselves. There is no gentle way to say this. "He died. When he returned, it was not in the same form."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina frowns. "Saints, I'm sorry. But... you still love him. And he's here now." That doesn't take away the pain of it, she understands, but it's a balm at least.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji looks back up at Nina, then. He wonders about the people she described, Wylan and Jesper, and whether she misses them. She must. "I did not anticipate seeing him again after his death. His shape hardly mattered."

[ravkanwitch]

"That makes sense," Nina says quietly, more subdued. "You're very lucky. I hoped the person I loved would come on the day of the visitors. He didn't. Now I'm afraid he'll come after I've finally..." She trails off. Gotten over him? Never. Recovered? Wrong word. Healed? ...Maybe.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji is impossibly lucky, a fact to which he returns almost every day. Few people get a second chance in this particular way. Lan Wangji never forgot Wei Ying across all those long, mundane, grueling, fruitful years, and never loved anyone else, but he did, slowly, heal. That took nothing away from the strength of his feelings when they reunited. He tries, now, to choose his words carefully. "Thirteen years had passed. I had changed. When I recognized him, I still loved him."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina nods, understanding. "I think that's why I didn't see him on visitor's day. Maybe I'll never see him again, even here. It might not be right for me." She considers something for a moment before taking a sudden, different tack. "Do you... believe in gods? Or any kind of religion?"

[lightbearinglord]

If the abrupt switch of topic fazes Lan Wangji, he doesn't indicate it whatsoever. Apparently his religious inclinations are of great interest today. "There are gods in my culture. I follow the teachings of Laozi and the Buddha."

[ravkanwitch]

"Magnus told me what gods are," she informs him. "We have Saints. My best friend Inej worshipped them, believed that if you did the right things, the Saints would bless you. I don't think I believe in anything." This does relate back to fate and winding up with who you belong with. A miracle. In the depths of her gut, though, Nina knows that she will most likely never see Matthias again; she has to control her own fate.

[lightbearinglord]

If these Saints are anything like the god whose cruelty has caused such suffering for Galahad, for Claudius, and for Crowley, then Lan Wangji can hardly blame Nina for doubting them. They may exist; that does need mean they command a necessity of belief. He looks at her and nods. "I prefer to determine what is right for myself."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina fidgets with the hem of her dress for a second. "What about... helping others determine what's right for them?"

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji passes Nina another leaf of lettuce, much to the interest of the otherwise oblivious rabbits. It gives him the time to think of how to word his answer. "It can be a noble thing to serve as a guide," he says, slowly, "but it is impossible to make another person's choices."

[ravkanwitch]

Nina carefully tears the lettuce leaf in half, thinking. "The people of Fjerda... they're so frightened of the Grisha. And fear causes nothing but anger and hatred. Before I came here, I ...um, may have performed a little trick." She offers one half to Danding and one half to Xiaoxue. "I turned my friends into Saints. We did save a whole town," she says in a rush, as if to explain. "It wasn't unearned. The only extra thing I did was ...something with my abilities." Worship is better than death.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji watched the cultivation world tear Wei Ying apart because of their fear. He listens to this story calmly. The rabbits receive their gift of lettuce only a little bit less calmly. "You saved a town. Good."

[ravkanwitch]

She gives him a bright smile. "I did. Now the residents of Elling will always give thanks to Sankta Leoni of the Waters and Sankt Adrik the Uneven."

[lightbearinglord]

As usual, Lan Wangji doesn't smile in return, but there is something warm to be found there. He is aware of how much trust Nina has placed in him, with the jurda parem and with the pieces of her past that she has revealed. He is resolved not to betray that trust. "Perhaps those are worthier targets for belief."

[ravkanwitch]

"I think so. It's a shame I came here immediately afterwards and couldn't see what happened." She frowns slightly. "I hope Ravka is doing okay. And... and Fjerda, I suppose." After all these years, she's grown to love Fjerda. The cold weather, the language that she's fluent in only second to Ravka, and the people who live there. Even thinking about the smell of the fish markets on the docks and the way the citizens single-mindedly worship Djel sparks a sense of nostalgia in her rather than disgust.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji nods, agreement that he hopes her home is well and acknowledgement of the difficulty that comes with the inability to know. It does not escape him that while he can write to his brother, the reverse is untrue. He would never know if the cultivation world broke into another war or if something befell one of his loved ones there. "Did someone come for you that day?"

[ravkanwitch]

Nina lets out a short laugh. "I thought it would be Matthias or one of my close friends but instead, Kaz Brekker showed up that day. I wouldn't call him a friend but... he did help me work through some things. He has one of the most brilliant minds I know but he's an absolute bastard."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji knows at least a few men who fit that description. Bemused, he wonders at what the logic of the visitors could possibly be. "I visited with my brother." Thus far, he is the only person he knows who was granted the ability to return to his home, even for a short time.