[ closed post: rabbit meditation power hour ]

[lightbearinglord]

The rabbits have been settling in. They have sweet, easygoing temperaments, which helps, and it helps, too, that the mansion has apparently noticed their presence and supplied Lan Wangji with a little wooden hutch for their keeping when he is not able to hold them. He does, on occasion, need his hands for other tasks. His preferred kitchen has also been forthcoming with hay and vegetables for their feeding. Wei Ying has already threatened to cook and eat them several times, which means he likes them and will be whittling toys for them any day now. Once winter passes, Lan Wangji will work on constructing a sturdier hutch for the outdoors as well, so that they can see the lake and the woods.¹

Because they are so sweet, and also so endearingly small, their presence is calming in itself. Lan Wangji does not exactly need help to meditate successfully -- he has been doing it daily since he was very young -- but the company does not go amiss, either. It is difficult to dwell overmuch on anything troublesome with two tiny, warm bodies in one's lap.

Lan Wangji is not actually meditating yet, but he is seated in that side room he prefers to use for the practice. There is incense burning, and he has a little brown rabbit, munching its way through a piece of watercress, perched on his knee. In his hands, he holds the equally little white rabbit, which is overall doing well, but which does have a greater tendency to startle and to want to hide itself. He is speaking to it under his breath, gently.

¹It's important for rabbits who began life in the bottom of a top hat to be exposed to nature.

Comments

[onthewillowsthere]

Claudius has been talking about the little rabbits a lot. "I really do feel the responsibilities of fatherhood," he said last night. "Though of course rabbits are infinitely preferable to human children. For one thing, they both fit perfectly in one pair of arms. Beloved, you cannot imagine how soft they are." Galahad can't imagine. He desperately wants to know.

He also wants to talk to Lan Wangji. He uses the meditation lesson Lan Wangji taught Laurel all the time, and it's good for settling his thoughts; he's been thinking about panic attacks, about the way all the sounds blended together at the dance and he couldn't understand any words, about how he can't really protect Claudius here. About God, about his dreams from Luo Binghe.

When he hears Lan Wangji in his meditation room, Galahad hesitates in the doorway, his sketchbook held against his chest, and watches. The rabbits look so soft.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji is, of course, almost instantly aware of Galahad's presence. His aura alone is striking enough that Lan Wangji could hardly mistake him for anyone else.

He looks up, lowering the rabbit he is holding so that he can place it in his lap as well. If he were not serving as furniture for two small animals, he would stand, but he still puts his hands together to perform a seated version of a bow in Galahad's direction. "You may come in," he says, with careful neutrality in hopes that Galahad will not feel obligated to do so.

[onthewillowsthere]

He does immediately. He shoots Lan Wangji one cautious look, then sinks to the floor cross-legged beside him. "May I touch one?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn." With one hand, Lan Wangji ushers the brown rabbit off of his knee and toward Galahad. Given its somewhat more curious nature, it approaches him with cautiously-interested ears and a twitching nose.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad holds out a cautious hand to it, palm up.

[lightbearinglord]

As Lan Wangji watches, the rabbit sniffs Galahad's fingers at length, clearly interested in him. When it bumps its head against Galahad's hand, Lan Wangji tells him evenly, "It wants you to pet it."

[onthewillowsthere]

So he does, very carefully and deliberately, smoothing two fingers over its head and ears and down its back. Claudius was right -- he couldn't have imagined this softness.

[lightbearinglord]

There is, in fact, a little of a different sort of softness in Lan Wangji's expression as he observes this moment. He can think of few people here with whom he has had a more tumultuous and unsettling relationship than Galahad, and it is comforting to simply sit here in the quiet as he enjoys something that Lan Wangji also enjoys. He resettles his weight and returns to stroking the space between the white rabbit's ears. "You may pick it up if you are careful."

[onthewillowsthere]

For a moment his gaze flicks up to Lan Wangji's face, almost disbelieving. Then he gathers the brown rabbit up and sets it in the little den between his legs, and strokes its head the way Lan Wangji is stroking the white rabbit.

He doesn't say anything for a long time. He has so many threads to gather and sort onto spools.

Finally, he asks, "Do they have names?"

[lightbearinglord]

As he promised Claudius, Lan Wangji did put more thought¹ into naming these rabbits than he put into naming the pair that Wei Ying gave him all those years ago. He nods toward the rabbit in Galahad's lap and says, "Danding.²" Then he rubs his thumb against the white rabbit's cheek and says, "Xiaoxue.<sup>3

1</sup>Or, at least, thought directed less utterly by single-minded adolescent yearning.
²淡定, "calm."
³小雪, literally "little snow."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad looks down at the brown rabbit in his lap. He wants to fingerspell the names, but he's not sure how to spell them just from hearing them, so he busies his hands with more petting instead.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji is content to sit in silence, his own hands occupied with more or less the same task as Galahad's. After an interval, the rabbit Galahad is holding -- Danding -- begins to groom itself, using its paws to clean its face and ears. With a guest present, Lan Wangji will not be so rude as to actually slip away into meditation, but he is very calm, his breaths slow and even.

[onthewillowsthere]

"Claudius thinks Luo Binghe is affecting my dreams," he says, out of nowhere, after a long time in that same silence.

[wickedwit]

Claudius needed a walk after cuddling with Galahad and fuming over fictional characters and their love lives -- more fictional, that is, than Claudius and his compatriots because he hasn't met them yet. It's a solipsistic thought, and one Claudius doesn't want to dwell too much on. He also doesn't want to dwell on nightmares, or the conversation he had with Aornis about Luo Binghe. That memory bothers Claudius for more reasons than he can place, though the content was bothersome enough.

And so it's the perfect time to visit Lan Wangji and his rabbits. His rabbits and Claudius's rabbits, but Lan Wangji has taken on their care and feeding -- and Claudius smiles at once when he sees the rabbits and Lan Wangji, speaking with a soft voice. "Lan Wangji," he says in greeting. "It's a pleasure, as always."

[lightbearinglord]

Upon hearing Claudius' voice, the little brown rabbit sits back on its hind legs, balancing on Lan Wangji's knee to peer at him. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji turns the white rabbit in his hands so that it can see Claudius as well and not be startled by the sound of another human.

As for Lan Wangji himself, he is so obviously happy to see Claudius that an actual smile would be unnecessarily excessive. "Claudius. Sit."

[wickedwit]

Claudius's heart floods with such fondness for all three faces in the room. It eases him, and he gladly takes a seat beside Lan Wangji, holding out his hand for the little brown rabbit to sniff. "I did want to be reintroduced to these two. Have you yet given them names?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn. Xiaoxue.¹" Demonstratively, Lan Wangji tucks the white rabbit in question into the crook of his arm so that he has a hand free to stroke along the back of the brown rabbit. "Danding. Shushu is here to visit."

¹I've already footnoted this name in the above thread, but for Claudius I will add that 小雪 is also the twentieth (of twenty-four) term of the Chinese lunisolar calendar.

[wickedwit]

"Xiaoxue," Claudius says with utmost wonder and delight. "Danding. At last we're properly acquainted. Some day you may have admirers from all over the mansion, so it's the best to practice making introductions now." He touches Danding's ears and smiles. "They're doing well, I see. And keeping you company?"

[lightbearinglord]

Presumably remembering its first caretaker, Danding contentedly nudges Claudius' hand with its head, requesting further attention. Lan Wangji watches this fondly. "They are good company," he says with sincerity. "My brother once worried that the keeping of rabbits would distract from my studies, but I believe they improve my focus." With that, he recalls that there is something he has yet to tell Claudius -- it feels nearly like a dream, now. But first, he needs to ask, to be certain: "Queen Gertrude found you, that day?" He had been afraid of taking up too much of her time, of inadvertently robbing Claudius of any single precious moment with her.

[wickedwit]

Claudius dotes on Danding without end, as an indulgent parent ought. The mention of Gertrude makes his smile shine a little brighter, and the thought of what she'd do if faced with a small rabbit. "She did, yes. And she told me you had kind things to say about me -- she heard kind things about me from everyone she met, to hear her tell it. I think she was pleased by the caliber of my friends. It felt rather like being entrusted into your care." Like a new sibling, but that goes without saying if Claudius is shushu.

[lightbearinglord]

As if this is a known and indisputable fact so obvious that it hardly bears discussing aloud, Lan Wangji says, "You are under my protection." It had been easy to see why Claudius feels as he does about Gertrude, and easier still to speak kindly of him to her -- although he is, of course, holding onto the advice he was given for some future game of weiqi in which Claudius might seem to have the upper hand.

[wickedwit]

His expression flickers briefly, only because he's been thinking about the price of protecting someone, but also about what it takes to think one's self worthy of protection. Claudius didn't have anything of the latter. In small ways, he thinks he must have denied ever needing it¹, downplaying his fears because if he were in true trouble, he would never have asked Lan Wangji for help. It always had to be some small, trifling thing, nothing important, just his life. "I know that well," he says, and laughs. "I didn't even tell her of the attack of the undead -- though that would've been quite the story. I would always tell her stories, when I went abroad, and I missed telling her as much as she missed hearing them. You'll be pleased to know that I did tell her the truth of my feelings." It's a bit teasing, but with sincerity behind it. Lan Wangji's earnest advice to Crowley reminded Claudius -- he would always regret and wonder what may have been, if he hadn't told Gertrude that moment in the greenhouse. None of Claudius's confessions of love had ever come easily, but they were all necessary.

¹ Small ways? Claudius, please, it's every time.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji notes the element of teasing, but dismisses it. He can only be glad that Claudius told Gertrude, just as he can only be glad that Wei Ying spoke when he did. There is loss enough in this world, in all the worlds, without fear that stops tongues from revealing love. "Good," he says, a little softer but with emphasis. "She asked for a story from me as well, to take back to Denmark with her." It nearly goes without saying, but it is eminently clear from the banked warmth in his own expression that he liked Gertrude very, very much.

[wickedwit]

"Oh? And what did you tell her?" asks Claudius, eyes brightly curious as he gathers Danding closer for doting.

[lightbearinglord]

Claudius will probably recognize this little huff of an exhale as the Lan Wangji version of a laugh. He had not known Gertrude well enough to select a story to her tastes, so he chose one because he had imagined it would amuse Claudius if he had been present. "A recent night-hunt with Sizhui and Wei Ying both in attendance. We left the exorcism to Sizhui, and he performed well, but a small amount of resentful energy followed us to our inn. This became apparent at an inopportune time, after Wei Ying and I had gone to our bed."